This stuff is bad for you, mmkay?

Susan and I had an awesome thought session, and this is what we came up with. That's right, it's awesome.

The centipede has about 100 legs. They have hard exoskeletons that protect them from tongs that pick them up. They fight for territory, food, and mates (oooOOOooh. Sexah.) The centipede often likes to bite unsuspecting idiots that stick their hands near it; it’s bite is poisonous and can be fatal without treatment , thus those idiots die in the end. It is quite painful, and they die slowly. You can feel the venom spreading from the wound.

The caterpillar, unlike centipedes, does NOT poison people. The caterpillar eats leaves and lives a peaceful, poison-free world without harming anyone. I think all centipedes should be replaced with caterpillars.There are a few Exceptions, for buckmoth caterpillars, and a few others will poison you. This does not usually kill you though.

What’s worse, however, than both of these creatures, is alcohol. Alcohol starts poisoning you from the moment it slithers down your throat like the metaphorical snake that it is. Alcohol kills brain cells. It makes people throw up and have headaches. It also causes damage to the liver, where the body’s toxins are neutralized. If a person gets drunk enough, they could vomit in their sleep and drown in their own puke. Who wants to drown in their own puke? No one I know. So kids. Really. Don’t drink alcohol. It’s bad for you, mmkay?

Drugs are really bad for you, mmkay? They mess with your brain, mmkay?

But even drugs and alcohol aren’t as bad as... are you ready...? POSIONOUS UNICORNS!!! They are the most dangerous things out there! Their horns, when they stab you, inject you with a poison stronger than even stomach acids! (And rattlesnakes.) This is absolutely fatal, as no doctor or scientist has ever been able to create a cure for this horrible thing. They can also kill you with a kick to the head, just like a donkey, horse, or zebra. But their hooves have rainbow SPIKES on the bottom, which means that a kick from them won’t just kill, it’ll KILL.

 Okay, so if you liked what you saw, you should check out Susan's blog.